A Post About Me

This is a little odd, probably. 

I mean, if you're reading this, you either know me from somewhere already or I've sent it to people with the intent on it getting read by people I want it to.. 

But this is a little different. 

I had a mini emotional shutdown. And in that time, I admit there was a fair bit of anger.. 

But in that anger was some clarity. 

We're all unique in some way. We all have something to bring to the table, yet we always downplay that. 

I mean, think about a job interview. When they ask you about yourself, they want to know what skills/etc you bring to the company. How do you benefit them better than the 300 other applicants..

And we usually spout off the same phrases. 

Same with dating apps, really.. 

I think it's a case of we're either afraid to show our "real" selves to the world. Either that, or we think the "real" us is boring as Hell.. But at the same time, given enough thought, and maybe even enough preparation, we can do our own Hulk Hogan or Ric Flair style promo about ourselves, though I know that's a little out there for me.. I'll say it in my mind, but I won't put it out there 

(see what I mean??)

Anyway... This is going to be about me.. What about me?? Well, as with anything else I write in this thing, it's stream of consciousness.. 

If it makes sense, great.. If it puts you to sleep, well.. I hope you had a good nap :P

So...

ABOUT ME:

The boring normal stuff first: 

I was born in Thunder Bay Ontario, and currently live in Peterborough Ontario. 

I drive a school bus for employment. It can be rather stressful, but I enjoy the job. 

I have been married and divorced. 

I deal with anxiety and depression and have been for a while. Probably the better part of 25 years now.. 

Ok.. Still awake? Cool..

I used to draw a lot. I also used to write poetry, but I stopped that years ago. I have written a couple recently, but very rusty.

I think I have a little perfectionism in me. If only because I'll do something, then decide there's a better way to do it and restart it.. (My baseball card sorting is the biggest example of that right now) 

I don't fit neatly into a category.. 

What I mean by that is this: I play games but I'm not a "gamer" anymore. I usually just play baseball on my PS4 or Civilization 5 on my computer. Or Out of the Park Baseball. There are others I play on the computer, but I don't play them often.

I like some sci-fi, but I'm not crazy about it.. I'm not a fan of either Star Trek or Star Wars, but I enjoy reading the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. (Always know where your towel is) 

I generally don't enjoy talking with a lot of people. I've always had problems relating with people my own age.

Babies scare me.. Very awkward around them.. 

Speaking of the very young (and very old) Yes... I'm overweight. You might even say obese.. I am aware of this fact.. You don't need to point it out. 

I have a healthy (unhealthy) dose of cynicism due to working for over a decade in a convenience store. You don't know the level of stupid until then... 

Phones give me anxiety. I had to leave a job due to the nature of the work. (call centres) 

I miss my hometown of Terrace Bay, even though I know there's absolutely nothing there for me. 

When I'm depressed, I listen to depressing music to make me feel better.. When I was younger, it was actually a Type O Negative CD that helped me turn around my depression. 

I do have suicidal thoughts from time to time, but they don't progress to attempts.

My go to method of getting over something now seems to be an emotional shut down for a while. I recognize it's self destructive, but It's what I've done for a while now.. 

*poke poke* 

Still there?

If you made it to here.. What would your "About Me" look like?