Path to ODSP Part 3

 Now we're into part three of the journey I took to my current situation

I was being moved from B4 to B2. One rehab floor to another. B2 is more aggressive and "prep for home" mode than B4 was. Considering I hadn't taken a step yet and was unable to get into and out of bed without help of a lift, I was not feeling I was ready for the move to the more aggressive floor. 

I was moved regardless..

The physiotherapists tried to get me to stand up by using the harness lift, but the issue was the way we were trying it. They were going to get me up directly from the side of the bed with it. When I sat up on the side of the bed, I was too far from the mechanical lift. When they tried using it, My right side went up and I would have basically been horizontal.. Instead, they used the bed to lift me up to a standing position until I was able to do it on my own.. 

I was also dealing with severe muscle tightness in my legs, specifically my right. It was to the point where I had to stand for a few seconds, sit down, and stand again in order to move. It was also around this time they decided that it would be a good time to have me start working on using the commode. 

For those keeping score. I could barely move. It took two people to get me out of my bed to help me stand.. And they were wanting me to use the commode when I needed the bathroom. It was difficult. The Physiotherapist and Occupational Therapist on the floor were always pushing me, wanting me to get better. I appreciated their cheerleading and their motivation, but there were days when my body just would  not cooperate. 

It was also on this floor that I had a Vac machine attached to me to help with my backside wound. It took three separate tries for them to be able to make it work successfully, but it worked. Well, when it wanted to. The machine was very picky. Because of where the wound was (right beside my crack) a seal was difficult to get and keep. 

Anywhere I went I had this machine attached to me. It got very annoying, but at least I wasn't getting 13 feet of iodine soaked gauze stuffed in my ass anymore. Toileting, however, was an issue. 

This may be Too Much Information for some people, but keep in mind, this is what I dealt with and part of what brought me to where I am now. 

I would go to the bathroom. Depending, I would have the Vac beep at me for blockage or whatever else. I was still feeling weak, not having my full strength back to be able to stand and do simple things like wipe myself fully. Coupled with the fact that I had a film on my wound called Tegaderm, and with the placement of the wound again being right beside my crack, the Tegaderm would cover part of my crack. I would go to wipe and I'd hit Tegaderm. I couldn't tell if I was getting myself fully clean.. I didn't feel like I was getting fully clean. I was in the hospital due to septic shock in the first place. I had a couple times where the nurses thought I went septic again.. I was not willing to take a chance of fecal matter getting into a gaping wound... So naturally, I would get panic attacks when I needed to go to the bathroom. 

Now.. I will say this again. All the nurses at the PRHC are awesome. Going through the pandemic and other bullshit they do on a daily basis they don't get the credit they deserve. However, the ones I had on B2 could have used empathy training. 

See, B2 was the rehab floor to "get you prepared for home" however... Home wouldn't have me sitting in a large boxed room going to the bathroom. My bathroom at the time was a cramped little space where a water pipe was against my leg and the shower frame was right across from me for help to get up. Home would also mean I wouldn't have Tegaderm covering half of my ass. Their great refrain was always "What are you going to do when you get home?" Finally I said to one "Hopefully, when I go home I won't have Tegaderm covering half of my ass" their reply was to sigh and huff "Fine.. I'll wipe."

I had another nurse tell me they didn't buy the fact I was having a panic attack.. 

In there I did have a spot where I went into Atrial Fibrillation and was moved to A4, where they deal with cardiac patients. The room I was in there was weirdly shaped. Kind of like the L piece in Tetris. The bathroom was in the long part of the "L" The sink was in the short part.. The bed went parallel to the short wall of the "L" I had a vac and an IV in me. I had a heart monitor on me.. And the nurses were confused as to why I wasn't trying to use the commode.. I was so wrapped up in wires that went everywhere but somewhere that made sense that I didn't even want to move for fear of something being knocked out of place. 

After a week in A4 I was moved back to B2. This was where the panic attacks for the bathroom set in mostly.. I was here until the end of June, 2021 When I was discharged. 

The fun that was leading up to the discharge and what followed will be next time..