Rememberings

 As we all spin on this giant blue-green ball of chaos called Earth, I'm left with time to think. 

I just turned 48 at the beginning of the month. As much as I'd like to say middle age, I'm realistically on the downslope of the hill of life. 

I was born in 1978. The changes and events that have happened both worldwide and to myself personally are things that may never really be experienced again.. I guess until the next technological breakthrough that leads to Star Trek style holodecks and replicators, anyway... 

The old cliche of kids being the parents' remote was true. It was also a time where wood panelling was The wall pattern of choice. I believe it was around the age of 4 my parents picked up an Atari 2600. They played more than I did. Obviously as a toddler/pre-schooler my attention span was sometimes that of an overcaffienated squirrel. I did learn to play some of the games on it and our second console, the ColecoVision. Donkey Kong. Zaxxon (though I sucked at it) River Raid, Pitfall.. Ladybug.. Mousetrap... Carnival... Some of these games I'd love to see make a return. 

I remember when channels would sign off for the night with playing the national anthem. Even to this day, I get an odd feeling when I hear the Canadian Anthem played orchestra style. Wind blowing in the face. Maybe it's part of the imagination I've had but seem to have lost being able to tap into. I remember the first time I saw the opening for Dr Who in the 80s and having the shit scared out of me. The music haunted me. The acid trip style visual in the opening freaked me out. Keep in mind, I was in Kindergarten at the time. I also remember that being the night I randomly stayed up with my mom waiting for my dad to return from his overnight shift. I don't recall why we were up. But we were. 

I remember watching the Challenger explosion. I also remember watching the Calgary Olympics in school. Some of the kids tv shows were weird when we were kids. In Canada, we had things like Polka Dot Door, Today's Special, Telefrancais. In later years Canada had its own version of Seasame Street with Louie the Otter. Now, we're so connected to everything that the only thing we've disconnected from is each other. Sure, we still talk to other people. But... Unless it's part of your job in a service industry, how many willingly talk in person rather than by some electronic means? 

I think I miss the fact that we didn't have to have the world's information at our fingertips. Moreso, the fact that, in getting the world's information, we're also getting information overload. We get a lot of garbage information. And I think it's only going to get worse if we rely on AI too much in the future. 

I remember being a bit of a nomad in my hometown. My parents and I moved 8 times in our small community. I mean the town was 3000 people at its height, so it's not like I had to switch schools or anything. If I did it would just be to go to the Catholic Board rather than the Public Board. I only remember the reason for us moving two times. we moved from a two bedroom bungalow to a larger house when my sister came into the family when my dad got custody of her. We moved to another house because my uncle didn't want to lose the place. They were moving to Thunder Bay for a couple years and it was a rent geared to income place. Well, when they were moving back, we went into an apartment. The other times it just seemed like either my mom or dad found and issue with the house that became unacceptable and we moved. 

I never had a lot of friends when I was younger, but I always had long-term friends. I kept the same three friends from elementary to high school. Two others I met partway through elementary school and still talk to them from time to time. Even now, my best friend who calls me his brother has known me since 1998. In two years it'll be 30 years of friendship. Yes, there were other friends in there.. And people who I didn't consider friends or outright antagonists who ended up being friendly to me as adults. 

That said. In late elementary school and through high school, I was the butt of many jokes. I did have a hairtrigger temper when I was younger. I've since been able to control it to the point where it takes a lot for me to blow up. I'm not sure that's much better, but.. Anyway.. Throughout high school I would get anonymous love notes that were written as jokes. I'd get people calling inviting me for coffee and not showing up. I even had one person call me and, when I picked up, started moaning like they were either fingering themselves or getting fucked.. I hung up the phone. So I guess this would be the foundation of my belief that nobody really wants me. Now, it seems the only people who are interested in me are people far away, or those I pay to be interested.. 

I was in high school from the fall of 1992 until 1998. The 90s in general were a much different beast from the 80s. Music changed, lots of upheaval from the fall of the Berlin Wall in 1989.. TV changed. We got a lot of classic shows in the 90s. The 90s was also the start of the major technological shift we had to get to the point we are today. The Internet became part of the public. And while it was indeed a great invention for compiling and dostributing information, it was just as big for porn. I mean, is there a medium porn hasn't been in? 

The one big thing I remember happening was while I was in Sault Ste Marie for High School for one semester. It was around the time Quebec was holding its referendum on whether it would stay or separate from Canada. The vote narrowly lost, but my geography teacher prepared a map with Quebec cut out of the Map of Canada just in case. 

Now, we feel as helpless trying to do some things on the internet that the younger generations find second nature. Kind of like how our parents felt with VCRs. 

In my life so far, we've gone in multiple directions. I think the only thing constant is change. The other constant is that at some point, we feel like the world left us behind.