It's December, meaning we're getting close to both Christmas and the end of another year.
This year has been a rough one for me, as it has been for many. I spent time in and out of the hospital. A rather ugly knee wound. Being increasingly out of touch with friends and family. All adding up to a month where I'm honestly feeling very down.
Of course the biggest and constant issue is money. I do get my "January" ODSP cheque on the 20th of December. That however, has to last until the end of January. Aside from that, I need groceries. I'd like to get myself something small for Christmas as a "You survived the year!" gift, but I can't afford it. That gift, by the way, would be the Mario RPG remake.
The last two weeks I've gotten to this time of evening, around suppertime, and just felt like going to bed. Tonight I feel like breaking down crying then maybe going to bed.. I can't though because I need a shower. Today is a shower day for me.
One thing I came to grips with yesterday with my CMHA worker was that things aren't what they used to be. Even when I felt like I was out of place at my ex in-laws' house, it was still family. It was still spending time with others.
I haven't put up a tree or any decorations because it makes me think of time past. I also know that whatever I put up won't match the image I have in my head. That image being a darkened living room illuminated by the glow of the tree lights, giving it a warmth you don't get any other time of year..
I don't know what to do. I can't go on sleeping 12-16 hours a day.
Anyway, I hope you all have a wonderful holiday season. I appreciate each and every one of you that has come and read my ramblings and rantings both here and on my Card Blog.
Do you have any relatives nearby? Or at least any (that might live further away) that you communicate with on a regular basis? If so, I'd have to think that those are the sort of folks that you wouldn't want to lose touch with. As for some of your other issues, have the doctors been recommending physical exercise? I know of some of your difficulties, but even short walks (to start with) can do wonders for the body and the soul.
ReplyDeleteMy closest relatives are in Windsor.. Next closest is Terrace Bay then Thunder Bay.. I don't really talk to any of them too often. My aunt in Alberta sometimes.. My cousin in Windsor every so often.. I do work with a physiotherapist. I have some exercises to do..
ReplyDeleteHi Mike
ReplyDeleteI am remiss in replying! I read it back when you posted...I know this has been a long year for you! What about making a couple of goals for the new year? I try to make some resolutions every year and even though some fail, it gets me moving on something. I was thinking that maybe finding a community like the Legion, or a church a soup kitchen drop in kind of place, even as a volunteer...would be an interesting start. Also, post about card trading within Peterborough and maybe you can find some traders there to bring some humanity to your life. I'm sorry I don't live closer as I rarely go that way at all. I hope the Christmas season is not too bad for you. I see you got some cool cards for yourself...maybe we can all find a way to get you that other gift you want;)
It seems the most common cards being collected and traded here are Pokemon and Magic. Also a number of hockey, but I only collect one person. lol
DeleteI was trying to volunteer at the hospital, but between my illnesses and trying to get my immunization record from Thunder Bay.... I've been sitting on it for a while.
Yeah the cards were building over the course of the year at COMC.. Finally decided to get them delivered.