Hello Friends.
It's been a while since I've done this. I've been having some mental health and physical health issues lately.
The mental health issues really tie into the physical, so I'll go over that first..
I went to the Cardiology clinic on Tuesday to get a yearly checkup done. I have A-Fib, so they like to monitor it. Well, part of it was to see what I weighed so they could use the right table for me. I'm heavier now than what I was before I was hospitalized. When I was admitted, I was 530lbs. Now I'm 570.. I didn't think I was that heavy.
I've also been dealing with edema, or fluid buildup/swelling in a couple areas. One is my right side on the stomach. The other is my groin. The groin one affects my daily life. Unfortunately, it's considered a cosmetic procedure by our health care system, meaning it would be an elective, and therefore PAID procedure. I would need to pay in order for it to be done. Despite the fact it affects my ability to walk normally, to sit normally, to go to the bathroom normally, and is a breeding ground for infections.
Obviously, that affects the mental health. I've been feeling discouraged and generally depressed for a while now. The depression and frustration I've been dealing with as a result has me alternating between not wanting to be here anymore and not wanting to be around people and to go through a period of not eating. In fact as I write this, I haven't eaten anything since yesterday when I had some bread with peanut butter and jam.
I am hungry. I do feel a little light-headed. As a result, I'm worried about trying to make myself something to eat. I don't want to get dizzy and fall.
Anyway.. I'm still here.
