Year End..

Wow.. Final week of 2010 already.. Just seems like 52 weeks ago we went through all this.. Oh wait...




Yeah, final week of 2010. What this will not be is a retrospective. You can go pretty well anywhere to do that, and besides, I hate those things.

No, actually this is something that will actually verbalize something that I’ve always felt around this time of year. Every year for probably the last 20 or so, I’ve gotten depressed in December. I don’t know what causes it. I don’t know why it happens, but it does. The depression always seems to get worse between Christmas and New Year’s. I think it’s mostly due to the fact another year’s ending. More stuff in the history books, etc. I mean, good year, bad year, best year ever, it all ends. Another year starts and it’s a new start but not really.

The last few years I haven’t even stayed up to midnight to see the year change over. I think I was in bed at 11 last year. I don’t party so that doesn’t keep me up. I don’t know. I may be in bed early again this year. I may not be. I may just avoid the New Year’s Eve specials, since they’ve all seemed to go downhill over the last 5-10 years. Or, I may just watch the one from Niagara Falls.. And that’s only to see the Barenaked Ladies perform. (By the way, they really need to come back to Oshawa.. Or Peterborough)

So really, other than celebrating the fact that the earth hasn’t imploded, exploded, melted down, drowned, or just destroyed for an interstellar bypass, what are we celebrating on December 31? Are we celebrating the fact that we’ve had a good year, filled with memories and friends? Or are we celebrating the fact that it’s another holiday where the main idea is to drink yourself stupid? To many people, it seems that the second ties in with the first. Celebrating the year with friends and family WHILE drinking yourself stupid.

To me, the end of the year reminds me both of what’s gone on and what’s passed by. It may not always be pretty, or really even memorable, but it’s the past. And really, that’s where the depression comes from: knowing that another year has gone down the crapper and nothing’s really happened.

Who knows.. Maybe I just need to look at things in a different perspective. At the same time, maybe this is just me.. Or, maybe more people go through the same thing, but never really thought about it, or put it to words. In any event, whatever your feelings, and plans.. Have a good one this December 31. Don’t drink yourselves too stupid. And in 365 I’ll probably write something similar..

'Tis the Season...

As we get closer to another Christmas holiday (yeah I know. Again? Already? Didn’t we just do this last year??) We have those people who get to spend time with their loved ones.. And you have those people who are stuck at work for whatever reason. While the reason varies, people are still away from their families. Now, I’m not saying we shouldn’t have doctors, nurses, police and other essential services working on Christmas. They are necessary. But really, is it going to kill you if you don’t have milk for less than 24 hours? And if it is, you have far more serious problems than I’m willing to get into here.


So this is the start of what will probably end up being a yearly thing, even after I get out of the hell that is retail convenience. I’ve been saying it verbally now for four years, but this is the first time writing it down. Convenience stores and retail in general should not be open Christmas. Period. Stock up on Christmas Eve or suffer till Boxing Day. If your forget something, tough gingerbread. We’ve become too accustomed to convenience. Forgot something? Just go to the corner store. It’s open, even at 3am. Of course, someone has to be THERE at 3am for the people who can’t remember to pick up what they need when they’re out, but I digress.

The only people who benefit from stores being open on holidays are the people who forget to get what they need and the shareholders of the company, if it’s public. The operator doesn’t win. The staff doesn’t win. The operator has to pay out wages regardless, more if the person actually works on the day in question. Still has to pay holiday pay out. It gets really expensive paying someone $20/hour to babysit an empty space. The staff member, while getting that extra money the government immediately takes their bite out of, has to stay in the store and work. On a midnight, that gets quiet. I should know. Where I am there are nights where I don’t see people for three hours. That’s $30.75 out of the operator’s pocket with nothing coming in.

Of course, the people who make the decisions about whether the store is open or not hasn’t actually worked in the store for years, if ever. It’s unlikely they’ve even worked a retail environment period. And of course, because they’re the big wigs, THEY get to spend Christmas at home with their families, while the people their decisions affect have to suffer.

I still remember when the decision was crapped out four years ago that we needed to be open regular hours on Christmas. Their reasoning was “Gas stations are open 24 hours. Why shouldn’t we be?” Good reasoning except for one tiny, miniscule part: We.. Don’t... Have.. Gas.. Pumps.. Yes, there are some locations that have gas pumps attached to them, but that’s a small portion of the company’s stores. So really, the decision comes down to corporate greed. They figure they’re not making enough off the backs of the drones working the hives already by being open till midnight Christmas Eve and 9-5 Christmas Day, so they needed to change that. They decided that they needed more money. More profit. Problem is, they’re the only ones making anything off it.

Where I’m from, if you forgot to stock up on things before Christmas, you were S.O.L. till Boxing Day. The convenience store we had was open 364 days a year. They didn’t even open Christmas Day, so the people could spend time with their families. As it should be.

Now, we may never be able to go back to that time, where things were actually CLOSED on holidays, but it would be nice to be able to get reduced hours. You do not need a place to be open 24 hours on Christmas. If you do, then you need to learn to plan better, or to anticipate where you might run short on something. Until that happens, maybe I should hibernate for December. That sounds more and more appealing as I think about it..

December.. Holiday time

So.. Ryerson University has a handbook out for students that talk about the holidays and how to enjoy them. It mentions all the different cultural celebrations in the month of December but omits a rather large one.. I’m sure without even saying you know which one I speak of.


But yes, Ryerson omits Christmas from their handbook on the holidays. Why? “To be more culturally inclusive” is the answer, of course. Now.. I don’t know if I want to laugh or cry. Laugh because that’s the biggest load I’ve ever heard, or cry because it’s a massively hypocritical policy that does the opposite of what these Politically Correct inclusion monkeys are actually looking for.

I mean, really. I applaud the inclusion of other cultures’ celebrations. Just because they came to Canada doesn’t mean they have to leave their history and culture at the door. That’s not my intent, or my interest. I’m all for whatever celebrations you’re celebrating, as long as it’s reciprocated. I celebrate your holiday in a tolerant and polite manner; you do the same for mine. If I went over to India, for example, I wouldn’t expect the natives to accommodate my holiday at the expense of theirs. So it’s kind of funny that we’re so willing to give up mention of Christmas to make others feel welcome. Are we really that push-overable??

Now, the other thing that the Politically Correct Inclusion Monkeys don’t realize is that by excluding mention of Christmas in literature or conversation, you are excluding a culture. By making the other cultures feel welcome; you are pushing away the very culture WE live with.. The Canadian culture.

I’m not going to say that if we stop mentioning Christmas, the terrorists win, but.. It’s pretty close to it. By not mentioning Christmas, you’re forgetting a large portion of your student base, and your country’s base.

We’ve become too sensitive to what the whiners want that we don’t listen to what the MAJORITY want. This is a democracy. Part of that democracy is freedom of speech and freedom of religion. Excluding Christmas infringes on that freedom.

So really, this is a case where the Politically Correct Inclusion Monkeys win.. The problem is, they are the terrorists in this case as well.

The "Friendly" Skies?

So with the holiday season coming upon us, people are getting ready to travel. Well, with the travel, they get a free scan with x-ray glasses or a free medical exam. How fun..


I haven’t really heard too much about Canada yet, though I’m guessing we’re not too far behind the Americans on this one, but some U.S. airports have full body scanners where the person looking at the images can see everything. Remember those old ads for x-ray glasses where the makers claimed you can see people in their underwear? Yeah.. Like that. Except this actually shows everything..

Those refusing the full body scan get treated to what amounts to legislated sexual harassment. Someone will give a full body pat-down, everywhere. Now in theory they’re supposed to do this in a private area, but that may not be the case in practice. Recently, a girl flying from Sudbury to Toronto received the “enhanced pat down” before boarding the plane. In public, because “no private facilities exist at the airport.” My thinking is simply this: If you’re going to invade peoples’ rights and privacy, do so in private. I don’t get a rectal exam in public, I expect not to get fondled in public when all I want to do is board the plane and go where I’m going to.

Now, this is all done in the name of safety and security. Already people have written to newspapers saying they’re willing to give into the pat downs and invasive searches if it means the plane doesn’t explode because of a bomb. The problem with this, however, is the agency in charge of the security has already said they won’t search Muslim women to “preserve their dignity and rights.” But it’s fine to impede our rights because Muslim fanatics have been using planes to attack.

I’m no genius, but if I were a terrorist organization obsessed with attacking the West, as soon as I hear the airport security won’t check Muslim women, guess who I’m recruiting for my plane bombing missions?? You can put explosives head to toe, cover with the full-body veil and there you go.. Gift wrapped doom from above.

Instead of turning into a grope-fest at the airport or, dare I say it, turn airports to nudist colonies, how about we start looking for visual clues that someone might be carrying something explosive in their briefs? Does the person look nervous? Is the person sweating an unusual amount? Darting eyes from side-to-side? Not looking at the security officer at all when being asked questions? It’s called profiling. Profiling doesn’t have to be racist. You don’t just pick Muslim people. That is racial profiling. The profiling I’m talking about is looking at the questions I have above, and if the majority are true, then examine the person a little closer. They may be white, black, purple, or orange with yellow stripes. Doesn’t matter. They might just be worried about flying. That happens.

The funny thing is that if you don’t agree to the airport security’s gropefest or the scan, they can throw you out of the airport and charge you. With what I’m not sure, but this is the case for the guy who’s gone viral for telling an officer “Touch my junk and I’ll have you arrested.” I’m sorry, but no touchy-feely. I’m married. It’s spoken for. Otherwise, dinner and a movie first.

Used Game Buyers = Pirates??

Well, that’s a new one on me. Some game publishers and even a gaming web comic have decided that if someone throws their hard-earned money on a used game, they’re no better than someone who pirated the game for free.

To the publishers: I ask you this simple question. What happens after I shell out $80 for “The Best Game Ever Game 3” and find out *Gasp* I don’t like it. If I send the game with the receipt and a self-addressed stamped envelope will I get my money back? Or will I get a letter saying “Too bad, sucker. You wasted your money. Buyer beware.”?

Now, I know the first cry will be to rent the game first.. Believe me; I do rent games before I buy them. I want to be sure I’m going to like the game before throwing a month’s worth of saving down the drain. Problem is, those wonderful developers would rather we not be able to rent the game first, because poor them.. They don’t see the money from those rentals. So again, wonderful developers, once you get rid of the scourge that is video game rentals, when I shell out $80 on “The Greatest Game Ever Game 3” and don’t like it, will you be giving me my money back? I doubt it.. It’ll already be added to the CEO’s bonus.

Now, if you’re like me and able to afford maybe three games a year, cost is a factor. I don’t have a lot of money at my disposal. So I like the fact that I can rent a game before I buy it. I like the option of paying for a used copy because they’re cheaper. I’m still putting money out. I’m not getting the game for free. Being able to trade games I don’t want or selling them is a great option as well. Being stuck with a game you don’t like is not fun.

It’s easy to argue that the more sales a company gets, the better the product will be. In video games, there is a small problem with that logic. You will see fewer games, fewer types of games, and more clones of the same genre. Instead of five first-person shooters, you will see twenty. Companies will take fewer risks than before, knowing that if they spend millions on a game that doesn’t sell, that affects their earnings, affecting what the stockholders get.

Ultimately, not being able to rent a game will result in lower profits, because people will become gun-shy at spending $80 on a game they don’t know. And without being able to trade the game in for something else, it would make many people leave the hobby altogether.

Now.. To the creators of the web comic that agrees with the developers. Can you say you have never bought a used game? Can you say you’ve never traded in a game? I seem to recall that, while I read your comic, you started a charity for gamers to send games to distribute to others in the name of charity. My question is simply this.. Are you using charity to steal from the same developers you agree with, or is this a case of not recognizing the pot calling the kettle black?

Remember when...

... it used to take talent to be famous?

I don't know why, but the whole idea of people becoming famous for being famous bothers me.

It used to be that, in order to become famous, you had to have talent. You had to have some skill that made you rise above the rest. Be it dance moves, a good singing voice, the ability to hit a small sphere a long way, or to throw said sphere past the person trying to hit it a long way, etc. Something.. People would pay to see you and you got famous as word got out. I don't mind that.. Fame is earned. Just don't let it inflate the ego, Skippy. LIke all famous people, you CAN be forgotten. Just ask ol' what's-his-name... Or That Guy... With the Thing.. You know who..

I do have a problem with people who are famous for having rich parents or semi-famous parents, or just famous for being famous. (FfBF)

Really, how does one become famous for being famous? And, more to the point, .why do they need to be obnoxious about it? Really, most of the FfBF crowd are on minute 14 second 59 of their fame.. Tick Tock, people..

I admit, I get bored at work some nights. When I'm done my work and I don't have a book to read, I'll look through the magazines. Eventually I'm left with the celebrity magazines once the other worthwhile ones are done. The annoying thing about these magazines is reading about the Kardashians, Paris Hilton, et al.Of course, to me the worst ones are the ones who are famous for massive amounts of surgery.. Especially when they end up looking like a younger version of someone else who`s famous.

Possibly the only thing worse in the FfBF universe are the women or families whose claim to fame is being a baby factory. Really.. My life would be a lot better without knowing about the family who`s popped out 19 kids, or the Octopus ... I mean Octomom.. Even the Gosselins. Of course, through the chaos, none of these people hear the ticking of their fleeting fame.. Tick Tock, ladies and gents, Tick Tock..

It would be nice to see fame going to real talented people instead of the Stupid Human Tricks famewhores we get now. Or, maybe it`s time I took the advice of Weird Al Yankovic when he parodied `Can`t Touch This` Because `It`s crummy, it`s stupid, it`s awful, it`s putrid, Gonna Throw My Set Away`

Why Green is a Bunch of Hot Air

To see why all the green-taxes, industrial bargaining, smart-meters, etc won't actually do anything for the environment, look no further than your nearest group of teenagers.

One group I had in the night of April 30th decided to have their snacks in front of the store. Ok, fine.. Except for the little problem of all their wrappers being thrown everywhere but out. Chip bags, nacho containers, candy wrappers, among other things just thrown on the ground or left on the ice freezer, not even 5 feet from a garbage can. Two, if I count the one inside.

Sadly, this is about normal. Regularly there's garbage thrown around the parking lot. It was worse at another store I worked at when we had the high school students come for lunch. Unfortunately, they're not the only ones who have forgotten what a garbage container looks like.

At the start of my shift, two middle aged women came into the store. One bought a magazine and a bag of chips. The magazine had plastic wrap on it. After she paid I put her purchases in a plastic bag, and she loudly scolded me for putting it in a bag, saying she's "green." Well, I went outside later to check to see if I needed to empty the outside garbage and, to my amusement, Miss Green was close to the garbage can. She just missed it by a foot. On the ground was the wrapper for the magazine. Way to show you're green. By leaving the wrapper. On... The... Ground... RIGHT.. BESIDE!!!! The.. Garbage..

Of course, that's not the only place. You really need to go no further than your nearest roadway to see garbage thrown around on the ground.

Now. I think a lot of the initiatives being used by the government amount to nothing more than tax-grabs, money grabs or political bluster but something does need to be done. I mean, I don't need a meter telling me I'm paying a lot for hydro and am paying more regardless of my habits. But there they are. And.. We even get to PAY for the Privilege of being told I'm paying too much for hydro regardless of my usage patterns. What we do need is a way of getting people to stop using the world as their trash can.

But how..? Taxes don't work. Simply asking gets rather repetitive and tiresome. Maybe we need to add a new section to the newspapers, and to social networking sites. You see a litterer, snap their picture, throw it on Twitter or Facebook.. Send it into the newspaper. Get them to start the Litterbug Brigade or something. Pictures of those people who don't understand how to use a garbage can might shame them into learning. Or.. They might just wait till nobody's around.

It may work.. It likely won't. But it's an option.

Wow.. Just.. Wow..

It's amazing how unintelligent people can be sometimes.

At least once a day at work I get asked if a certain newspaper is in the store. This is after the person stands at the paper rack, looks at the papers ON the paper rack, and not seeing the paper they want. They will turn to me and ask if the paper is in. Is it really that difficult to grasp that the empty shelf means the paper isn't in? Asking me doesn't change that fact.

There is more, of course, but you wonder after a while if there's some sort of IQ-reducer set on the door. Step in, you become a mouth-breathing drooler. Walk back outside, you go back to normal. Of course, if normal IS the mouth-breathing drooler.. Ummm.. I dunno then.. Can't help ya.

Oh yeah.. One more thing.. Signs.. They're there for a reason.. Read them.. Understand them.. Follow them.. When I lock the door and put the sign saying "Back in 5 minutes" Don't stand there shaking the door and knocking on the window. I won't be there to unlock the door till I'm done what I'm doing.

I don't know.. I like my job.. Just wish people were a little smarter sometimes.. We will see. 

... Can you Please do some REAL work now??

Well, the Federal Government is back in session. The issues being taken care of? Spending, particularly salaries.. OK.. Good. Most of them don't earn their pay to begin with.. Refugee Status Application processes. Makes sense to try to figure out who to let in.. The wording of O Canada... Wait... What??

Apparently, some people got their undies in a bunch over the words to O Canada and decided to complain to different MPs and the Prime Minister about it. Seems it's a result of hearing it 14 times in Vancouver. The line that's causing the offense? "In all thy sons command."

Now, since parliament went back in session, there has been a fair bit of debate about it in the newspapers. Half seem to want a change, half don't. Seems like most who want it changed are women. In fact, Senator Vivienne Poy introduced a bill way back in 2002 that would examine and change the wording. Her version would have the line changed to "In all of us command." Professor Adele Mercier of Queen's University agrees, pointing out the fact the population of Canada is 51% women.

July 1 1980 was the day O Canada became the official anthem. The words in the official version of the anthem have been around since 1968. The original text that was changed in 1968 was written in 1908. And, way back in 1908 "In all thy sons command" was there.

I have three questions to pose. They are the following:

1. If we change the wording of the one line, where do we stop? Do we change the "Home and Native Land" portion to appease the immigrants? Do we take mention of God out to appease the athiests? How about the "stand on guard for thee" for people who can't stand?

2. Have we, as a society, gotten to the point where every little thing offends someone? Seriously, there's a reason the phrase "You can't please everyone" was coined. No matter what, people will find something to complain about.

3. Isn't there more important things the government could be worrying about? For example.. The economy? Jobs? The massive deficit??

I don't know but it sounds more like a deflection topic so they don't need to do real work.

Olympic Opportunism

Another Olympic torch relay. Another Olympic Games start. Another batch of opportunistic idiots deciding to protest everything under the sun. *SIGH*

The day of the Opening Ceremonies, there were three or four groups that converged on one spot to protest at the Olympics. A couple other places along the relay route had to be diverted because of protests. The stupid thing is, nobody was protesting the Olympics themselves. No, that came once the games started, idiots throwing garbage cans through shop windows. Most of the protests had been for their own pet projects that they either didn't get out to public before-hand, or the public just doesn't care.

Instead of going through normal channels, example contacting your local government official, these people prefer to make asses of themselves with the world watching.

One thing we've been known for as Canadians is tolerance. But really, I'm tired of reading about or watching people yelling outside major events about things that have no bearing or relation to the said event. Does the Japanese tourist care there's no Daylight Savings Time in Saskatchewan? No, stop protesting at the Olympics. Does the Jamaican bobsled team care about Native Rights? No. Stop protesting the Olympics. Talk to your government. You can't do that? Then suffer is silence.

The groups protesting the Olympics, however, are a special breed of stupid. Rather than actually protesting, they just cover their faces and vandalize property with no ties to the Olympics. If you are protesting legitmately, don't cover your face. Have material to support your position. Covered faces yelling down the street does nothing but invite the ones who want to smash things to do so.

And, anyone protesting about "stolen Native land" better be Native. If not, well, guess what? You've "stolen" as much as I have.

So what I want to see happen:
1. Protests about the Olympics happen in designated places. How about Alert?
2. Protests cannot happen without a permit. The organizer can get a permit but is directly responsible for any property damage, as well as the ones who cause it.
3. Protesting without a permit carries a $5000 fine for each member.
4. Protests cannot be done with covered faces. Each person is accountable.
5. Instead of organizing protests, organize people to help find solutions to the problems you are protesting about. Action speaks louder than only shouted word.

Athlete's Pipe Dream (Don't Get to Big for your Britches Boy!)

It's odd what comes up some nights.

Tonight, a conversation on egotisitical athletes. Now it's one thing to have an ego once you make it to the top and establish yourself. It's another to believe you're the next BIG THING before you're even drafted.

Believe me, guys, it doesn't matter that you were that much better than everyone else. Until you reach the top, you probably won't find many people at your level. There will be people below your level. But they're all there for the same shot.

Once you make the big time though, the gap narrows quite a bit. It's at this point your ability matters. After years of coasting, you need to turn it on. Can you live up to the hype? Or, will you be yet another to buy into your hype so much that you become a footnote in history?

So what's it going to be? Hall of Fame, or Where Are They Now?

Walk at Your Own Risk

So far this year it seems like it's open season on pedestrians in Toronto. I'm not laying blame on any one place here, since many factors come into play, but here's my breakdown.

Drivers:
SLOW DOWN! REMOVE THINE LEADEN FOOT FROM THINE GAS PEDAL! Watch where you're driving. No put down the coffee, the cell phone, makeup, toothbrush, and stop steering with your knees! Get up earlier, get ready at home then drive. Or, take the TTC, where you can get ready while someone else drives you. See that light? It's Red. Red means "you stay put." Turn right if allowed and the area is clear. Look many times to make sure the way is clear. If you're not sure, STAY! TTC Drivers, same thing. Yes, I know you have a schedule to keep. But guess what? Hitting someone puts you further behind than if you were patient.

Pedestrians:
Ok...two simple words: PAY ATTENTION!  Know your surroundings. You see those big, noisy metal things? They're vehicles. You get hurt when you get hit by one. When you come to the corner or the crosswalk, stop texting, tweeting, playing around on the ipod while listening to music and LOOK AROUND YOU. The little white man is up? Ok, walk. Make sure there's no idiots trying to turn right and walk. The little hand is up? SIT UBU, SIT. Cross at the designated areas. Playing Frogger is nice, but you don't get three lives. You're one and done.

The City:
I know you're trying to help the flow of traffic. Since people are being stubborn about liking to be able to go where they want, you need to work on the system. Having the dedicated crossing as some corners is good. Add it to all the heavy use crosswalks. Synchronize the stoplights. If it's even done only on the main corridors. Something so that people don't feel like they're crawling. Extend some of the crosswalk times. 10 years ago I almost got hit crossing at a crosswalk. When I started: green, halfway through: red with traffic turning at me. NOT COOL!

Of course, these are just some quick and dirty ideas. I'm not a city planner. What do I know about the topic?

It would be nice to open the paper in the morning and not see a story about a pedestrian getting hit.

The July 1st April Fool's Joke

Since the idea was crapped out of Parliament Hill and Queen's Park that Ontario needs to harmonize their taxes, I've read some very funny and suspicious reasons for it.

Our MPP, Jeff Leal, recently addressed the Lion's Club and called the current setup a "Hidden Tax," a "tax on a tax." I've also heard it being called a dumb tax among other things.We're to believe it's smarter to combine them into one. Eh?

Pardon my ignorance, since I'm not an economist, but if the PST, a tax that is blatantly added to things as its own line on your receipt, (go ahead, grab one. You'll see GST 5%, PST 8%. I'll wait...Back? Ok), it's not hidden. It is a tax on a tax, but you can argue the same in reverse about the GST, since it came later, and replaced a real hidden tax/ So now, we're combining the two into one. Ok. This changes things how? It adds more tax to gasoline (geez, there's a tax on a tax issue if you cared,) among other goods and services. So they're lowering personal taxes and giving out one year's worth of "tax relief" money as a result but the tax is around for longer than one year. I've heard the PST be called a dumb tax. Well, yes. A dumb tax that's been paid for....how long? I'm 31 and remember it being around forever. However, taking one dumb tax, combining it with another dumb tax to make a giant dumb tax does not make the tax smart.

Now, the main bone of contention for me is the following: the HST will create 600,000 jobs. How? As I see it, the people who work in PST collections are out of jobs, thereby putting you in the negative to start. I haven't heard how it's supposed to suddenly stop industry from going to areas where the pay is slightly above sweatshop. I haven't heard how companies are suddenly going to invest in a province who's let forestry and mining go down the tubes. So, the only thing I have to say here is: "Dalton, you got some 'splainin to do!"

I would also like to point out another wonderful benefit, as pointed out by the head of Ontario Credit Unions, the HST will allow for lower costs, allowing business/retailers to lower prices. BWAAA HAAAA HAAAA *slaps knee, falls out of chair, rolls around laughing for 10 minutes* Ugh. Sorry. Naivety coupled with stupidity always makes me laugh.

So, companies get lower prices on the goods they sell. Where do you think the money is going to go? Is it going to lower our prices, or is it going to line the shareholders' pockets? I'll give you three guesses what I think.

So there you have it. The only thing I am happy about is this isn't my Birthday Present, even if it is a cruel April Fool's Day joke. Enjoy Canada Day! Pay out the anal crevice afterwards!