Path To ODSP 4

 Well, as I mentioned last post I was having panic attacks when I went to the bathroom.

It wasn't until afterward that I was able to articulate why. I was worried about fecal matter getting into the gaping hole in my ass and infecting the wound, making me go septic again. I had a nurse tell me outright they didn't buy my panic attack. This same nurse previously told me that had I not gone into the hospital when I did, I likely wouldn't be here writing these posts now. 

Because I was still trying to regain my strength, there were some things I had difficulty doing. There were times I had trouble getting into bed. I would swing my legs up but sometimes they wouldn't go all the way up. Sometimes I'd get caught on the edge of the bed or slide. Well, one time I was trying to get back into bed after going to the bathroom and I had a nurse staring at me arms folded while I was three quarters off the bed because I slid when I tried to swing up into the bed.. I asked for help and got the Great Refrain.. "What would you do at home?" (Spoiler alert: When I was weak enough to not be able to get into bed at home, I laid down width-wise on my bed with my legs hanging off the bed) 

It's one thing to promote independence, but it has to be done safely. If it's obvious the person is struggling, then maybe they're either not ready to be discharged or get off the horse and help???

Another issue I ended up having was with gathering my stuff to go home. As I mentioned, I was still weaker than normal. Bending over was a difficult endeavour. I was somehow able to gather and pack everything. I did have issues with getting into the van I was taking home and into the house when I did the in-home assessments.. 

The first time we went to see about the suitability of my old home, I couldn't get up the stairs for the deck. The second time we got me inside the main floor.. The third time I went up and down the stairs.. I was tired but the adrenaline was going so it didn't affect me too much until I actually moved back and had to do those stairs daily.. At that point, I was wearing out quickly. I would go down and back up and I would sleep for a couple hours afterward. 

I had homecare coming in daily to help with bathing and light housekeeping. Within a week they were trying to cut down to once a week.. As time went on it became more obvious to pretty well everyone aside from the pencil pusher on the other end of the phone I still needed a lot of support, more than was capable of being offered. 

It was also in this time that I started having my right side start weeping.. My torso started weeping and got really hard and swollen. I also became more incontinent again. I also had some issues with being very winded and so short of breath that walking to the bathroom 5 feet away took my breath away.. I stubbed my toe once and the cut caused so much bleeding the PSW that was there said it looked like a scene from Carrie. 

The nurse that was coming in to check my legs came one day and saw me laying weird on my bed. I explained what was going on and they asked if I wanted an ambulance. I said yes. They stayed until the ambulance showed up. It was rather fun trying to get from the top floor of an old house with a staircase that bends at the end out the door when you have no balance and barely the strength to stand.. 

They strapped me to a backboard and made some rigging to lower me down the stairs slowly.. We got me outside the house and I couldn't stand to reposition myself on the stretcher.. Instead what I ended up having to do was get help putting my legs up and adjusting while laying down. 

This time around, not even a month after discharge, I was back in the hospital with cellulitis in my torso and an INR (I'm on Warfarin) of 4.8. My acceptable range is 1.8-3.2..

Next time I'll talk about my return to B4 and B2..